Halfway done with my hsct immune system reset, and staring down the barrel of 2014 Auld Lang Syne, I'm obliged to remember why it is important to forget. Too much remembering of mistakes, bad luck, good luck, wrongdoing and rightdoing could drive a man insane. So could reliving too vividly all those moments of happiness and bliss that make an entire lifetime seem worthwhile until we mourn their loss. We learn from the past, we dread it, we love it, but we cannot live there.
Immunity is a different kind of memory, but with similar peril. Get exposed to chickenpox as a child, and the immune system remembers how to fight that virus in the future. Same with vaccines; be it polio, flu, tetanus or any other, the injection of a modified live or even a dead virus elicits an immune response that remains on a hair trigger, guarding against exposure to the actual disease for many years.
An autoimmune disorder, such as MS, might just be too much immune system memory. Maybe it was my exposure to Epstein-Barr virus (mono from kissing a pretty girl), or LaCrosse encephalitis (from being bitten by swamp mosquitoes) that set me down the path to MS. Or it could have been exposure to pesticides and solvents on the farm. Whatever, long after the disease or chemical had been purged from my body, my immune system remained hell-bent on attacking where the invading pathogen used to be. It's been open season on the protective myelin sheath of my central nervous system ever since.
I will not let a memory that never fades poison my future. That's true for life in general, and now for my immune system as well. Resetting my immune system and stopping MS with chemo won't be easy, but it's nothing less than another shot at life.
Happy New Year!
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